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The Wrong Way approach to dating, or more appropriately trying to set up dates, has been to follow in some ways the economic policy of light-touch regulation. A laissez-faire style; um, beating about the bush rather than grabbing it by the hands you could say.
In one sense it’s a personality trait. If a woman doesn’t initially ‘take the bait’ so to put it, the desire to persist quickly wanes. One doesn’t want to come across as desperate after all; pride is at stake.
Yet we are talking about ‘the game of love’, or at least ‘a game of attraction’, and in Colombia they like to play it as much as anywhere, if not more so (well some sort of version of it anyway). And once a Colombiana feels she has the upper hand, you’re entering into dangerous territory. Indeed, in many ways, the game is up. (And do recall there is the Colombian ‘princess mentality’, with a vicious streak, that has to be factored into this also.)
So basically, that’s why I try not to engage in it too much. Something either happens early doors or it doesn’t happen at all; case closed, you move on (save for the odd ill-advised late-night WhatsApp/Facebook message). Further to that, as an expat acquaintance here mused to me — and I apologise in advance for the crudeness of this — ‘once you tap a hole, you’re in control’, so the longer that doesn’t happen the greater the chance of things getting out of hand. That theory may require more in-depth analysis but let’s leave that for now.
Thus, putting all that together, there have been a number of doors left slightly ajar but not ‘aggressively’ pursued. An interest is shown, yet not to the point where you’re jumping through fire rings to demonstrate your desire. As the pop group the Black Eyed Peas put it, ‘meet me halfway’, por favor.
Yes, there are always the thoughts that a new strategy might be needed; after all, one definition of stupidity is repeatedly doing the same thing and expecting different results. However this is balanced out by the feeling that ‘this is how I roll’ and while things could always be better, they’re not too bad at the moment either. I’m relatively in control.
*There have been plenty of previous posts written that relate to what’s here, but one place to start is Love fool.